So Gaga’s new single “Marry the Night” just hit #1, inspiring her to tweet in the early hours yesterday morning: “#DrunkyGaga in my hotel room with wine in a gown dancing to Born This Way. #Don’tJudgeMe”

She immediately changed it to: “REVISION: #DrunkyGaga ALONE in hotel room with wine in gown dancing to Born This Way #DontJudgeMe”

Judge her? grapefriend loves it! And note how she did NOT change the wine part! Go Lady Grape-ga!

Last Sunday, she went on X Factor and comforted this contestant Kitty Brucknell after she was voted off. The Daily Mail wrote, “Gaga went running over to find Kitty before whisking her off to the dressing room for wine and offering a shoulder to cry on. The pair are believed to have gossiped for at least half an hour.” Gossiped??? More like drank, duh.

“come little Kitty, let’s have some wine!” (credit: Rex)

But I ask you – what kind of news outlet is this that doesn’t report on what kind of wine she was drinking? The Daily Mail is no grapefriend! (Neither are the 460 other articles I found online about it.) So I had to do my own research, which led to me finding out that on her rider last year she requested “Two bottles of white wine with wine opener – Kendal [sic] Jackson or Robert Mondavi.” Oy, Gaga.

First of all, white wine can be very acidic which I don’t think would be good for your throat. Secondly, um, you’re huge and can be demanding WAY better bottles than these supermarket-ish brands. KJ and Mondavi are fine but come on, Gaga, go for the grape gold! I do love that she requests a wine opener too, though – smart girl. If they forget it, she could probably open a bottle (or at least cut the foil) with her latest nails:

So I’m going to give her a new suggestion. Being such a chameleon, she should choose a grape that’s just like her. And that grape would be Zinfandel! And PLEASE don’t tell me you think Zin is that crappy white zin. Please don’t even tell me you even know about white Zin anymore. Zin is amazing with blackberry and peppery notes, but has so many different styles – like Gaga! Just a few:

1. classic style from California, blended with Petite Sirah, Carignan and others. Ridge Geyserville is a good example.

2. lighter style with good fruit but lighter body and (relatively) low alcohol

3. big, bold, blockbuster fruit bombs Zins, with massive 15 percent alcohol

Grab a glass and sing a little “You and I” in honor of your new love!