pop grape

gaga’s grapey evolution isn’t going so well

gaga wine riderI absolutely love reading musicians’ tour riders. I can’t imagine they use even 10% of what they request, although I always like to imagine the musician and dancers popping open all the wine they asked for and having an awesome grapey post-show party every night. Gaga’s one of those performers who likes to get her grape on backstage.

In 2010, she requested “Two bottles of white wine with wine opener – Kendal [sic] Jackson or Robert Mondavi” on her tour rider. We lamented this, not because the wines were so horrible but just because she’s Gaga and could get way better juice.

Well the latest rider for her Monster Ball tour was just revealed by Celebuzz, and it contains some brand new grapey asks:

  • 2 bottles of good quality white wine (Chardonnay)
  • 1 bottle of good quality red wine (shiraz, grenache, malbec, cabernet)
  • wine opener
  • wine glasses

Is this a whole lot better? Not really. First of all, just telling some rider-filler to get you “good quality” wine is way too vague and risky for my liking. If this guy is popping Boone’s Farm every night, who knows what he’d pick! Now, if grapefriend were filling this rider, I’d go white Burgundy for good quality Chardonnay. Throw back a little Chassagne-Montrachet after that “You & I” encore.

As for the red, these aren’t all the most noble of red grapes. Shiraz is usually a bolder Australian version of the beautiful French Syrah grape. Grenache – ok, down with that. Malbec – no freaking way; so gritty and rustic. Cab – big gamble. Some are insane and amazing, but many, many suck. The red selection would require a deft and knowledgeable hand.

I think I just found myself a new job. Call me, Gaga.

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