Last night had one of my fave wine moments ever! Take it away, Abby…

There was a LOT of drinking during last night’s ep though a lot of it was in the form of whiskey. I think my favorite drunk was David Rosen who had one of the episode’s best lines, “Many of my predecessors were esteemed alcoholics.” Also, we may have seen the last of Smelly Mellie and her Uggs. We’ll always have fried chicken!

wine moment #1

A rare smiling moment between Liv and Papa Pope. I’m sure it’s the snobby wine.

This show doesn’t do lighthearted and normal too often and even when it does there is obviously all sorts of subtext. But they tried last night. Daddy Pope shows up at Liv’s apartment with a bottle of wine and some fake story about bug exhibits. How she’s buying anything he’s selling is beyond me given his track record but he’s the only parent she’s got. And of course, he admonishes her for not even drinking correctly! Poor girl. I mean, Liv is wearing her wine cardigan and everything! (Shout out to our friends, the Fug Girls, for coining that most excellent term.) Liv’s already downed a bottle of what her dad calls the “cheap stuff” which she defends as not cheap, but “just not snobby”. I’m sure Grapefriend has some thoughts about what types of wine they might be talking about. They drink. They talk awkwardly about Jake (who is being interrogated in the bowels of the Pentagon which daddy knows and keeps to himself.) Seriously, it’s no wonder Liv can’t have healthy relationships. At least they drink good wine though.

grapefriend wine recommendation: I loved the whole convo about cheap vs snobby – that line really blew up Twitter. So in honor of that, this week’s wine recommendations will be if they should be drinking Cheap wine or Snobby wine. In this scene, solo Liv was surely downing her beloved California Oak, which, if it existed, would probably like a $35 bottle of oversaturated Napa red. Not cheap but not snobby: Liv should try some Oregon Pinot Noir. Snobby: Papa Pope for sure pops Burgundy – also Pinot, but wayyy more expensive. And definitely snobby. 

wine moment #2

Back to frowns. California Oak will do that to you.

I miss the days when Olivia and Cyrus could just drink wine, eat popcorn, and talk about lighter matters like rigging elections. Alas, those days are long gone. Instead Cy interrupts Liv’s drinking session to tell her that her “other boyfriend” murdered the Grant kid, Harrison, and James (Cyrus’ husband). Only one of those things is true. But it sends Liv into a shame spiral and the only good thing to come of it is that she and Abby kind of made up at the end.

grapefriend wine recommendation: Oh yeah, Liv and Cyrus were such good grapefriends. Now Cy comes over and she doesn’t even pour him a glass! Shit is going south FAST for Liv, so I think she should be drinking the snobby here. She should also branch out to whites, and pour out a really killer (pun intended) Riesling – crazy mix of sugar and acid, just like her life. 

As we all know, I’m still on Team Olitz, as dysfunctional as it is and as terrible as Fitz can be. Sue me. But man, Jake is going to need many drinks to get past the pain Fitz is inflicting on his pretty face. What would you give this poor man, GF?

grapefriend wine recommendation: I am NOT on Team Olitz. He lost me last week when he got all pissy when he found out she went away with Jake. Hello, you’re married, you big loser!!! I’d give him something CHEAP, because he clearly doesn’t even appreciate wine since all he drinks is scotch. Double-wide of Cavit Pinot Grigio for you! I’m not a huge fan of Jake either, though he did get quite the beating for something he didn’t even do. I’d give him Not Cheap but Not Snobby – like a North Fork Cab Franc. Note to both dudes: if you can’t drink good wine, you’ll never understand Olivia. 

Until next week, grapey gladiators. And don’t follow along on Twitter @grapefriend and @abbygardner, where we marvel at the length of Liv’s wine cardigans.