At this point there’s a season of Real Housewives on at any given moment and pretty much all of them are grapefriends. Copious amounts of wine have been poured in every city and every season, so it’s no shocker that so many of the women are now hawking their own wines. Although I’ve read about them ad nauseum, I’ve never seen one of them in a wine store so haven’t had the chance to try them and I’m not very sad about that. Still, some of them have gotten not-horrible reviews, so let’s run down.

ramona, new york

Perhaps the biggest grapefriend of the RH franchise, Ramona’s been rocking her Pinot Grigio from the get-go and was the first to come out with her own wine. She partnered with an Italian wine company in the Veneto to make Ramona Pinot Grigio, $15, and also has a Sangiovese-based Tuscan red in the works. I hate Pinot Grigio and Sangiovese is low on my list of red grapes, but I have to approve of a Housewife who says, “I have thought about throwing wine, but then I think, ‘Why would I waste perfectly good wine?'”

lisa, beverly hills

These are actually the only ones that sound decent. Lisa makes a Sauvignon Blanc, Rosé, Cabernet and Pinot Noir in conjunction with Summerland Winery in Paso Robles for her restaurants Villa Blanca and Sur, and even served them at her daughter’s wedding.

nene, atlanta

Moscato is a huge wine industry trend, which everyone attributes to tons of artists like Lil Kim, Drake, and Trey Songz rapping about it. It’s naturally a little sweet, but the ones made in America tend to be very sweet. I can’t find Nene’s “Miss Moscato” wine anywhere online so I guess it hasn’t been released yet, but she did give Anderson Cooper a taste on his show last fall.

teresa, new jersey

Table Thrower partnered with Brotherhood Winery to make Fabellini, a sparkling wine that comes in peach and raspberry flavor, $17.99 each. They came out last month and for now are only available online. That’s about all I have to say about these, aside from I can barely deal with this photo of her with the blow up bottle.

bethenny, formerly new york

After killing it with Skinnygirl cocktails, she’s now making Skinnygirl wines. They’re lower calorie like the rest of her line, but not that much more than a regular 5-ounce glass (100 calories compared to 120). They’ll be $15 each and include: a  primarily Syrah red, a white made mostly from Chardonnay and Pinot Grigio, and a rosé blend of Grenache and Syrah. Aside from the rosé, which Bethenny calls a “blush” on her site (hi, 1973), I’m dubious.

tamra and vicki, o.c.

They’re not making their own wine, but these two just announced that they’re launching Wines by Wives next month, a wine of the month club with selections by Tamra, Vicki and other guest celebrities. The site is super cheesy, but I will give them props for donating 10% of the profits to charity. It’s $29.95 for each monthly order of 2 bottles, and the first month’s selection will be Gabriella from Fruili, Italy, where Pinot Grigio rules.

Wine, by Bravo. Lemme know if you try any.

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