There’s a fine line between bombshell and bomb. The new Sports Illustrated cover got leaked and, as rumored, Mark Sanchez’s hookup is on the cover. It’s not like these covers ever have a lot of bikini coverage on them, and it’s already been declared “unreal” and “ridiculously smokin’ hot” but not by grapefriend! I already saw Kate Upton in one ill-fitting ensemble last week, and now this bikini top seems just extra tiny and makes the boobs look all around too much like a bad, way overdone wine.
Winemakers often add different grapes or utilize varying methods of soaking the grapes with their skins or in oak to tone down or bring out anything they feel a wine needs. But this can get out of hand. For whites, they can be left in oak too long and all you taste is butter instead of a subtle, complex richness. Lots of Chardonnay is overdone like this. For reds, the fruit is overwhelmingly ripe and the wines turn out way too alcoholic, like the 15% alcohol Zins that got really popular.
Basically, there’s so much else going on that you can’t even taste what the grape actually tastes like. Nothing interesting or layered, just a big fat bomb. Or, in the case of Sports Illustrated, two bombs. I’m sure every guy in America will agree with me.