Whenever a penalty flag gets thrown on the field, I’m constantly asking everyone what it’s for. But over the past couple of years I’ve learned a few of the basic penalties (which, if they’re against the Giants, many “They’re IDIOTS!” follow the explanation). Anyway, many of these penalties would probably be useful in the wine world as well.
excessive celebration: busting out so many good wines at once that you get too drunk to enjoy them all
roughing the passer: getting in the way of someone pouring you wine
unsportsmanlike conduct: bringing cheap wine to a party and then guzzling the more expensive one that someone else brought
encroachment: when someone starts drinking from your glass or your bottle
illegal substitution: someone pours you something you didn’t order; or, when a winemaker adds a grape outside of the legally sanctioned ones in a blend
excessive timeout: when the waitress takes too long to take your next order or deliver said order. Also see: Delay of Game.
taunting: posting Facebook pictures of the amazing wine you’re drinking