Here’s what you need to know about Grüner Veltliner:

1. biggest characteristics: white pepper and green grass

2. it’s from Austria and is pronounced “GROON-er VELT-leen-er”

3. it’s sooooooo good!

A while ago I was reading Jay McInerney’s Bacchus & Me (which I love, btw) and there was a whole chapter about Grüner. A whole chapter to a grape I’d never even HEARD of? It was odd and intriguing.

So a week or two later, I was having drinks with this girl who’d introduced me to her guy friend who’d just completely dumped me. It was this awkward night where we were still trying to be friends even though the guy had been a supreme asshole moron. So I’m trying to get through these drinks and I see a Grüner Veltliner by the glass on the menu. Ordered it up and VOILA! Amazingness! So fresh, grassy and almost effervescent. Love at first sip.

I never talk to that girl anymore or (obv) the guy, but Grüner and I have spent many, many fantastic nights together since. Feel free to steal my boyfriend.