Surprise album? Interested. Surprise grapefriend moments on said album? OHHHHHHHHHHHHH YEAHHHHHH!
Now, we all know what huge grapefriends Bey and Jay are. I’ve only told you like 83 times. That time they drank Cheval Blanc for her birthday (last November, to be exact) still kills me. And a somm I know said Jay came over one night after one of his shows once for some late-night graping (grapefriend swiftly added him to list of possible drinking buddies).
Anyway, there are apparently two good grapey moments on this new surprise album.
Bey sweeps wine glasses off the table when some complete moron doesn’t show up for dinner. We know he’s a completele moron because she has already poured out the wine and he still didn’t come. I do not condone wasting wine though, B! Bad grapefriend! You take your wine off the table and then sweep.
Two: “Drunk In Love”
Nothing can quite surpass the awesomeness of “Crazy in Love,” but let’s assume that in this song they’ve knocked back a lot more good Barolo like they did in May. Then we can all be good with it. Ugh, they’re always drinking good wine and old vintages too, not newbies. They know their grapes.
Wine moments on albums is totally a trend lately. Britney sings, “I drank some red wine, and now I’m walking on the sky” in the “Chilln’ With You” duet with Jamie-Lynn, who drinks white wine. But isn’t Brit sobes now? She really should lay off the grape.