This week on Revenge they had a charity wine auction – you knew because there was a big banner that said “Charity Wine Auction” at the event. It was to raise money for foster kids or something, whatever, not important.

So the final wine they auctioned off started at 10k, and after a bidding war between two feuding characters it went for a million dollars to Daniel Grayson. A million! It was an entirely grapefriendy scene even though two people said they either don’t drink wine or don’t drink at all.

Anyway, we’ll ignore that and get to the part where he brings the wine over to Emily’s and just pops it open like a $20 Pinot. She’s all fake grateful since she’s only pretending to like him anyway. They clink and sip – but it’s gone bad! Nice storage, people. She’s all “Oh, sorry, I auctioned off bad wine and you paid a million dollars for it.” I dislike her.

Oh. Sorry. This sucks.

Btw, the wine was a 1945 Chateau Douhet. Huh? I’ve never heard of it and can’t find anything about it, except this one random 1956 Merlot Douhet on Snooth. It’s $109.

The writers really could’ve done a little research and auctioned off a 1985 Jayer Vosne-Romanée Premier Cru Cros Parantoux (which was auctioned for $265,147 last year) or a jeroboam of 1990 Romanée-Conti La Tâche 1990 (which went for $41,825). But it doesn’t really matter if the wine is fake, since Daniel Grayson is fake too. And we’re going to drink some Chateau Douhet with Manti Te’o and his girlfriend.