Admit it. You watched. It’s ok, so did I. Who can resist a live-blogging Twitter fest about a winemaker and multiple insane girls trying to date him and pretend they know anything about wine other than it’s what they drink when they get dump-texts? Don’t fret – grapefriend is here to set the record straight for you!
lesson #1: varietal means wine made from one grape type
When one of the girls met Ben she said she knew everything about wine and he should ask her anything. So he asked, “What’s your favorite varietal on a hot day?” The girl looked like someone asked her how exactly Seal Team 6 infiltrated Bin Laden’s compound.
Varietal just means a wine made from a single grape – Chardonnay, Merlot, Cabernet Sauvignon etc. So really, it’s not that hard to come up with one grape you like! Grapefrend’s answer would be a Syrah rosé or Sauvignon Blanc.
lesson #2: wine is not made from the kind of grapes you buy in the store
Another girl got out of a limo and told Ben she once tried to make wine, but used grocery store grapes.
No no no oh my god no. There are two types of grapevines: Vitis Vinifera (wine kind) and Vitis Labrusca (which makes the grapes you’ll find next to the Chiquita bananas). It’s possible to make wine from Vitis Labrusca and a very few areas do, but it’s gross.
lesson #3: if you’re insane and on tv, you shouldn’t drink a lot of wine
See: Jenna, who spent quite a bit of time crying in the bathroom. Somehow she didn’t look like a blotchy mess at the rose ceremony. Guessing it actually took place long after the wine-filled crying bout and a nap.
Check back throughout the season for more setting the grape record straight, here and @grapefreind on Twitter. And good luck, Ben! You and your palate will need it.